why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
