For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Mom said you looked used
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize