his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
