The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
