wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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