i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
