Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
