Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
