I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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