I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
