i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ladies don't puke and tell
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize