this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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