Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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