I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize