But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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