Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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