In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
