oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
