I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
