Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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