Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
