btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
