I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
