After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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