Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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