Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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