Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize