he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am available for nakedness
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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