Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
