I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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