doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize