am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The Olympian is in my bed
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
