I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it penis luge time yet?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
