I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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