We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm at about main and main street
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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