I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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