my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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