She announced her abortion via fbk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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