You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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