By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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