i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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