omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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