broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
