Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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