if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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