He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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