At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
