Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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