Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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