You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
one might say we're banned from that church
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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