The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
