the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
