and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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