trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she peed on how many people?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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