A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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