we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
