btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
