you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
