you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
