If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
