Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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