I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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